Guess what? I'm back. After a quick break from all the Holiday eating, I have managed to work myself back into the groove of things. It's going to be a wonderful night with friends at the Hard Rock. I'm going to live the life and party hardy -- Shirley Temples and all.
I've got a few things I am dying to get off my chest. So, without further ado, here are my year end rants.
Do not schedule with me if you can't make it. At this point of our "getting to know each other" it will behoove you to stick with the time frame even if you have to move mountains to do it. Subsequently, do not try to haggle with my time and/or make me feel bad by saying: "I"ll just miss tennis then" cause, guess what? You are a grown man, you should have worked out the logistics before hand. So, guess what? You and I, we will never meet. Why? Cause, I said so.
* Lesson 1: First impression is NOT over rated. It's the only thing I have to go by. You get one shot so, I suggest, to make it work for you and don't take it for granted.
Here's another one, You text me and I dont answer in .5 seconds and you think the world is going to end. Uhm, I am a busy girl. I dont sit around looking at my phone. If I dont respond it means I am living my life. Don't tell me you're getting a weird vibe or I am being distant. The world is going on around you. It doesnt stop when I get a text or a call from ANYBODY (except for my daughter) so, be a big boy and stop crying. CHILL OUT. Pick up a hobby.
* Lesson 2: Do not assume and stop being neurotic, while you're at it, pick up a copy of "The Four Agreements" - should help you pass time and learn something.
What about this genius idea? Since you can't get a date with me. - why dont you just go right ahead and try the direct-asshole approach and tell me that we could have fun sexually. Are you FUCKING kidding me? Did you just ask me that? I am going to pretend that this was meant for someone else or you are delusional and out of your mind. Delusions of Grandeur, anybody? If this is what you've gathered from what little exchange we have - time to look within and perhaps see that the problem lies within the fact that you don't have a car, a job and you've lost your mind!
* Lesson 3: set realistic goals - I am out of your reach. KEEP moving, buddy. Get a job and a car and pick up a copy of a book - any book. A magazine is not a book.
Why do men act this way? I am not here to condemn, I am here to inform and help. So, if you are reading this and you feel a tiny pinch inside, dont get mad, get glad. Learn and hone your skills- human skills. I am also not saying that men are the problem. God knows, women are also a pain in the ass and are as hard to decipher as Lady Gaga's choice of wardrobe. But, if we are into you, there will be no need to decipher, there will be no questions, you will see it, hear it, taste it and feel it.
I am a happy girl don't wrinkle my panty by saying inappropriate things, be cool and chill out. After all, it's the end of 2009 and what better way to welcome the year by being open, calm and collected.
Happy, Happy!!
No, I don't want no scrub, scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hanging on the passenger side of his best buds ride trying to holla at me!
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