Happy heart, happy mind, happy soul

An attitude of gratitude brings opportunities and it doesn't stop coming as long as you hold on to that belief. It is the most powerful tool you can have in life - the ability to turn a sticky situation into a wonderland of possibilities. Yesterday, I was asked by my friend Neil to walk for Calvin Tran fashion show and since Calvin Tran is one of my favorite designers, I simply must do it. I walked in there and made it my bitch. I say that with all humbleness - meaning, I walked in there with a happy heart, an open mind and feet firmly planted to the ground and with those three tools, I was able to meet new friends, inspire people and had a BLAST. In many occassions I have proven time and time again that when you project what you feel inside your heart - your stance, your smile, your words and your thoughts immediately represent that. What's in your heart is something you just can't fake and when you have a happy one - you can't help but spread those same thoughts and feelings to the people that surround you. Laughter, positivity, kindness are all infectious.

Sometimes, I think to myself, am I just too breezy and easy-going? Should I tighten the reins a little? Nah! In retrospect, I happen to like my approach, it's worked for me for many years and I'm not going to change now. I am simply not going to fix something that isn't broken. Although, I admire people who are a bit more serious and business-like in their approach to life and love, I simply cannot see myself in the same grouping of individuals.

So, what have I learned? I've learned to always let my manners speak for me, I've learned to always speak my truth and to always socialize with compassion, kindness and grace because the power of love and compassion is inifite and far reaching. It warms a cold heart, it turns a frown upside down, and it brings you many blessings, many friends and many happy memories. And isn't it what life is all about? Creating memories, enjoying what you do whatever it may be, cultivating relationships, loving with all your heart, living with passion and dedication and laughing your ass off along the ride.

Short notes on a napkin from 32,000 ft...

From SFO to LAX, May 14, 2010

As I sit here on my way to LAX, I ask myself, how lucky am I? I pinched myself to see if I wasn't dreaming all of this. In front of me through my window is one of the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. Orange with pink hues and tones of purpley-blue. I close my eyes for a moment and thank whoever and whatever brought me to where I am in life right now. I am but another spec in this enormous universe (I know) and yet I can't help but feel special. I seem to always end up the right time and the right place and seem to meet the right people. Is it kismet? Was I destined to end up exactly here at this very moment? I'm not really sure. One thing I am sure of, is the gratefulness that I always have in my heart and the matching smile I have on my face. It is as sure as a mothers love, as deep as the deepest sea, as bright as the summer sun and as beautiful as the earth and all that inhabits it.





From LAX to SFO, May 16, 2010

What does it matter? It isn't yours to begin with...or is it? One of the many absurdities in life is determining hard to define things. When I was younger it seems I knew everything. But the more I surrender to things and the more I mature and understand things, the more I feel unclear and left with more questions. For example, I am still unsure whether I believe that life should either be black or white or perhaps, you can also gauge it with different shades of gray, for things that cannot be defined concretely or for the in-between times. Or do we merely use these gray shades for convenience? Or maybe the grays of life is what makes us who we are, maybe those shades of gray are the details that we need to work out until we're certain enough to call it uniquely black or wonderfully white. Maybe the in-betweens are the sweet, unavoidable, decadent details of which our characters are shaped with. Maybe, they are the stuff that makes us who we are. After all, life is a huge abstract and a blood bath all in one. Depending on your brain power, life stance, determination and frame of mind, you can find yourself amused, enchanted, captivated and spellbound or frustrated, annoyed and depressed.

So, here's a question and a challenge - What will it be for you? When it counts the most, do you find yourself dreamily, happily, merrily wondering and wandering during the gray times or do you find yourself vexatiously confused and peeved? When it counts, do you make the most of your time here on earth? When it counts do you make the right decisions? When it counts do you do what is right? When it counts are you honest with yourself and the people you love? Do you make it count, when it counts?

Gucci Smoochee....

Independence, self-reliance and a sense of self worth - these are things that most of us women need to chant to ourselves, heck, chant it everywhere, before bed, as you wake up in the morning, when looking at yourself in the mirror, while bathing, when you're bored. Chant it until it becomes your truth.

So many of us are debilitated by a disease called "princess syndrome" - it's symptoms can vary from mild to severe depending on the woman's upbringing, looks, environment, friends, and psyche. Unfortunately, the better looking a woman is the more entitled she feels of things she didn't even work for. This is a sad truth. Why do so many of us feel entitled to "things" we didn't work for? Why do so many of us feel that we should get a free ride? Why do so many of us feel we deserve an expensive car, designer purses, designer clothes and shoes from our husbands/boyfriends. Do we not have enough self respect to get our own things? Or enough intelligence to be financially independent? I'm not talking about gifts that are freely given to us on birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I am talking about women who EXPECT when they ask or better yet expect men to read their minds and if they don't get what they want they throw a fit. Men are not BANK ACCOUNTS neither are they psychics. They work just as hard for their money as women do. This does not apply (of course) to married couples who have pre arrangements on how to live their married lives.

I know many woman who are intelligent, self sufficient, articulate and beautiful and most of them are my friends (only because I choose to surround myself with people who are like me) BUT for every one of these women there are 10 who belong to the GDAW (Gold Diggers Association of the World) Women who prey on unsuspecting victims and latches on and sucks it's victim's blood dry. Why oh why? Women fought for equality for the longest time for us, so we can vote, and hold jobs, and pee standing up if we want to - why ruin that for a Gucci purse? How much is your soul worth? Jimmy Choo = Dignity? I think not.

Sadly, I still encounter women who can spot a fake designer bag from 50 feet away but does not know the difference between a ROTH IRA and a traditional IRA, or the difference between an adjusted gross income and an earned income. Most of these women probably have never heard the word income and their name in the same sentence. These are the same women who wonder why there are no good men out there - well, they are all traumatized by women who take and take and never give anything back. Where are the good men? They are out pursuing women who are self reliant and have their own hobbies. Hobbies by the way, isn't collecting designer purses from boyfriends or innocent bystanders.

So, this I say, with loving kindness to all my girls out there. If, while reading this, you felt a slight twinge of guilt, it's probably time to re- position your goals in life and if it didn't - good luck with your search. As I say, live your life however you want to but never take anything that doesn't belong to you and never take credit for something you didn't work for. Always lead an honest, wholesome and positive lifestyle - one you can create without the help of a man's bank account.

Don't wait for a prince to save you, save yourself.

Taking the high road....The road less traveled

Strawberry or Blueberry scone? Asked the guy behind the counter. Which one is the least popular? I retorted back. Strawberry, he says. Give me the strawberry then. This morning, I was determined to take the path less traveled, even show some love for the underdogs. Why do strawberry scones get such a bum rap? Now, all of a sudden strawberries aren't as popular as their blue ball shaped brothers? Is it because they are more accessible than all the other berries out there?

I swear I have a point, at least I thought I had one. So, popularity, eh? What and who determines that? Is it the collective media? Oprah? Ellen? The Pope? Michelle Obama? Bill O'Reilly? Justin Bieber? Beyonce? Who dictates how things should be done and where it should be done and what should be done? Who invented the word NORMAL? and what is the definition of NORMAL? Wikipedia says Normal is defined as: Conformance to an average. Wow, so, the whole point of all of this is to conform to the average? ha! Isn't the whole point of getting an education and a career afterwards, is NOT to be average? You don't hear people say: I want to grow up and be an average person with an average salary and get an average job. Most of us dream of ABOVE average dreams. Now, making that happen is a whole new can of worms.

I don't want to be normal, I want to be different not for different sake but to be different because I can. Because to me being average is unacceptable. I want to like what I like because I like it, not because someone said that's what I should like. I want to be free of judgment, free of worries about what other people may think. I want to be free.

When someone says, that's what normal people do or that's how normal relationships are. Uhm, here's a question? WHY in this world, would you want to be like 6.7 billion people? We dont want to have the same shirt as the next guy in the same party and yet we want to be normal. It's one or the other, you're either the average of all the girls/guys in a party or you're not. You can't want to be normal and be surprised when someone shows up at a party wearing the same thing you are wearing. It's bound to happen, guy! Unless of course, you make your own clothing from rice sacks - but even then, you may, on the other side of the world find someone wearing that as well. Who cares if your co worker got the same dress as you- that's bound to happen too, news flash: Manufacturers and designers made more than one, it's called CAPITALISM, check it out. You are a walking statement, so, better make sure your statement is congruent and not be a walking contradiction.

All these things I am using as a metaphor, cause, surely, you dont think I am only talking about dresses and shirts and scones. I am talking about something deeper. I am talking about living your life how you want to live it. Free of worries, free of societies judging eyes, free of conformity, free of the Ebert and Roepers of the world. You determine what is right for you, you determine what is good for you, you rule your world. After all, this is YOUR life and you only get ONE. Be true to yourself because honesty starts from within, because honesty IS still the best policy.

I wish it was as easy as flipping a coin...

Lately, there have been a lot of things swirling through this noggin of mine. As it is, my head holds a myriad of things in its normal state, so, can you imagine what it is like up there right now? It's like a Jackson Pollock painting, messy but with a purpose.

At 31, I am more humbled by life and the universe and what it's trying to hand me on a daily basis. I've had my fair share of hardships, triumphs, and heavy duty obstacles in my life and through it all, I've emerged into an even stronger, braver person and I am grateful for all those experiences. It has shaped me to be the person I am now and the person I continue to grow into. Every day brings new hope and a plethora of things to be had and discover. If you keep your heart and mind open, you will see them so much better and they will appear with vibrancy and intensity and all you have to do is grab it, put it in your pocket, close your eyes and visualize it into fruition. I am positivity reincarnated. I am forever optimistic about everything in my tiny world, I choose to see things that way because it is for me, a better way to live my life. When I know that I am living with purpose and intention, I tend to be a happier, more loving person.

I am at a crossroad in my life, actually, I'm facing several crossroads at this juncture in my life, and although I'd like to claim that not many things intimidate me, this one is making my heart beat faster and making me sweat a little. I've always had options with everything and anything in my life and that is so wonderful to have but nonetheless, it makes life a bit convoluted at times and perhaps, it is a good thing, it definitely builds character. Because in this world a person with many options are the most susceptible to trickery and temptations and if you don't have your head screwed on right, you're screwed!

Behind door number 1: stability and familiarity; behind door number 2: the great abyss. It's funny, because when I was writing this, I already know what I want between the two. You know why? I didn't get to where I am in my life because I settled or because I chose to stay with the familiar. I am exactly where I am now because I am a warrior, I am a survivor and when given an option, I choose door number 2, over and over. Why? Because I refuse to color inside the lines, because time and time again I choose to grab the bull by its horn and ride that sucker until I've conquered it. This is the spice of life, this is what dreams are made of, this is where I belong, always defying logic, always testing the unchartered waters, always stretching the probability of the impossible, always walking the fine line between my dreams and my reality, always growing, always expanding, always effervescent, never stagnant, never stale, never on auto pilot.

This may not be a coin toss; this may be a simple self exploration of some sort, a little poke into my heart and my complicated mind. I am happy to say that by the end of this blog, I would have already made up my mind. I will follow my heart, I will be true to myself, I will step outside of my comfort zone, because in the end I choose to never have regrets, because in the end, I will be the one who will answer to myself, because in the end a true seeker and adventurer would have taken the path less traveled, if only to discover something amazing amidst all the other things that the ride will do to take your breath away.

Switching Gears...

I've been delinquent, yes, I have. It's not due to lack of things to say about the opposite sex and dating but more a lack of interest from my end. I've been doing a lot of ruminating and I think it's time that I just get rid of the stringency and just talk about life, love and my musings of it. Since, this blog is respectfully titled life musings, it should talk about my daily life and my thoughts about it. Phew, now that I've said that, it takes a load off my shoulders just to know I can also write about motherhood, work, clients, friends, etc. you know, daily life occurrences. So, let's talk about motherhood today, since, Mother's Day was just yesterday.

Motherhood's definition is: The state of being a mother. hhhmm, simple and concise and yet within those words come so much complexity, so much emotion, so much responsibility. In my humble opinion, being a mother is the hardest, most rewarding volunteer job anyone can and will ever tackle in their life. The minute one becomes a mother, their life changes, they are now living for themself and their child. I wonder sometimes, if maternal instincts are present in women before or after the birth of a child. Are some women more maternal than others? Perhaps. All I know is, I can only talk about my own experience as a mom. And that I can do and do well.

I didn't want to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl, I wanted it to be a surprise. When the doctor said, it's a girl, I remember tears came rushing through my eyes, I had no idea I could cry so instantaneously, I didn't know where the tears were coming from, all I know was, there was overwhelming love and joy in my heart and the only way my body could prevent my heart from exploding off of my chest was to release some fluids out of my tear ducts. When I heard her first cry, there were more tears but within the tears, I felt a great want to protect her, to give her everything in the world, to make her happy, to love her forever. When the doctor handed her to me, I was over the moon, I could not believe my eyes, she was perfect. Those perfectly shaped brown eyes, her cute button nose, her heart shaped lips, her beautiful black head of hair, her toes, her fingers - she was everything I didnt even know I wanted. I could not wrap my head around it, she was breathtaking and she came from me. It was a miracle, indeed.

She is now 10 years old and she still stirs these kinds of emotions within me. I watched her grow through the years and I have to say, everyday, before my eyes, I witness an on going miracle. She is my life, my love and my soul. She owns my heart. She is my everything. From diapers to sippie cups, from cute little dresses to skinny jeans. She has grown to be a wonderful, smart, articulate, well-rounded, beautiful girl and I am so grateful for her, for this journey that she takes with me, for the memories, for the lessons of life, for the friendship, for the happy tears, for the hugs and the kisses and the opportunity to be her mom and share my life with her. I look at life through her eyes and boy, what wonderful things, I see.